Our very first bereavement support group is being held at Lulu’s House Of Hope tomorrow evening! It is just so darn exciting and I have to say that I feel a bit nervous!!!! What exactly am I going to say to give hope, to fill hearts and lift some of the pain that these parents are feeling?
I have read so many books over the years about spiritualityand finding the purpose and meaning in life, fullfilling your destiny. My nightstand is embarrassingly jammed packed full of these secrets to the universe. With each new one that I purchase, I am hoping that this is THE one. The one that will break the spell and give me every single answer that I am looking for. A few like… Marinanne Williamson, Deepok Chopra and Ekhart Tolle come as close to reaching that ultimate truth as you can get….I have underlined, highlighted and folded down pages of each and every one of these books of wisdom… They have been in my purse, in my brief case, laying in the front seat of my car, in the bathroom (because we all know that in the bathroom is where the real wisdom comes in!) I am a spiritual book junkie! Whenever I need a quick fix, I re-read a page or a paragraph, feeling satifisfied until the next itch comes along that needs some good scratching with spiritual verbage.
A month ago, I came home with yet another book, one that was going to turn me into Mother Theresa, well…maybe not her because I am for sure not a nun, I’m not even catholic! This book was the one that was going to turn me into a master. Our boys were shaking their heads and saying, “Mom, how many of those books do you need?” My reply is, “Apparently alot because I keep buying them!” That is when profound words of wisdom came flowing out of our 16 year old. Andrew’s mouth.
“Mom, you already know everything that you need to know.” he said, “The answers are all ready in your heart.” Well….what do you say to that???
Now that is just about as profound as anything I have already read in about 50 million different ways. I think that it is that way for each of us. We are all searching for an ahhh moment, that will transform us to that place of peace…bliss… sometimes it comes when we least expect it , in ways that we never expected it I think, what it is, is that sometimes we just need that little spark to reignite our own flame. But when it is all said and done, once we have been kick started again, we ALL already know what we need to know. We just have to slow down enough and allow ourselves to open our wounded hearts to the truth and beauty that is already a part of who we are.
I was going to read tonight for inspiration… read one of the many books laying in the strategic parts of the house…. instead, I decided to write because Andrew is right. I already know what I need to know…besides..Lulu will be there…Come on Lulu light my fire!
It only takes a spark to get a fire going….